Cru’s Letter

When you speak to someone like they don’t understand you, they won’t want to.

When you treat someone like they do understand you, they’ll want to try.

Growing up, one of the greatest gifts I received was my grandfather (Gumpy) speaking to me like I understood. Turns out because of that, I did.

I remember being really young and him talking to me all about how the world works, how to be successful, and a lot of stuff that most people would omit in conversation with young kids. I always appreciated this because when you’re 5 years old, most people treat you like you know nothing.

When I was in middle school, I struggled heavily with anxiety and school was the source of it. I spent a lot of time with Gumpy during this time so he could help me get to school and even though he knew I needed to go, he would often verbalize how broken the system was… and didn’t sugarcoat it.

This didn’t cure my anxious thinking but it sure made me feel seen and validated in what I knew deep down was true. Hearing “these teachers don’t know a damn thing about the real world” always made me laugh in agreement as I awaited my death in the carpool line.

Language is something I pay a lot of attention to and I often see people trying to get a point across but they think volume and intensity is going to do the trick.

The problem is that the volume and intensity leaves out something very important…

benefit of the doubt.

Like I mentioned at the start of this letter, people want to understand you when you treat them like they can. I know when someone speaks to me like I’m stupid, the last thing I’ll try to do is understand.

Confidence and agency is something you can give to people through the way you communicate with them and I suppose the pre-requisite is that you have those things yourself.

Maybe I didn’t communicate my message perfectly but you know what I mean so I’m not gonna sweat it ;)

-Cru

P.S. Check out my recent podcast: