The actual how-to of building self-respect

Cru’s Letter

Who do you respect and why?

Is it because their consistency is admirable? Is it because you can always count on them?

Someone replied to a newsletter from a few weeks ago asking HOW to build self respect so I thought I should answer that question.

The handful of questions I started this letter with should be a really strong hint to my answer. You see, respect for yourself is built very similarly to how respect for other people is built…

Through earning it.

If you made plans to work out 4 times a week with a friend of yours and they show up 10% of the time, you’d very quickly lose respect for them because the value of their word would quickly start to diminish after a few lonely gym sessions.

That said, imagine what you would think of them if they were at the gym, on time, every single time, ready to put in the hard work.

You’d probably think pretty highly of them.

This idea of respect is very simple when it comes to other people but most folks don’t see the relationship with themselves in the same way. This, however, is exactly what you need to do if you’re going to build real respect for YOU.

The simplest thing you can do is to make AND KEEP a promise that requires you to show up to something hard every day. My promise of choice for the last 2600 days has been a daily run of at least a mile.

What you can guarantee out of this process is life’s attempt to take you off course from keeping your promise. If you can push back on the inevitable resistance for long enough though, you can consider self respect all yours.

Evidence is the real thing that alters our self-image. If you create enough evidence that you can keep promises and do the right thing in the face of hardship, it would be hard to deny that you’re worth respecting.

Let’s say you did one of the following for 100 days in a row:

• ran at least a mile every day

• filmed yourself speaking

• wrote a journal entry

• practiced piano

After that 100 days of dedication, it would be impossible to NOT have a better impression of yourself because the evidence would point to you deserving more respect.

Realistically speaking, a 100 day streak of running won’t “fix” you but it will bring you in a positive direction.

If your starting point is years and years of negative evidence stacked against you, you simply have to outwork it with positive evidence which is gonna take some time to create.

Ex. It may take years of being sober to outweigh years of heavy drinking BUT…

That’s okay. There is no need to rush when you’re doing the right things.

Identity holds a lot of weight for everyone and that’s what makes it so tough to make major lifestyle/behavior changes. If you’ve never known what it’s like to have true respect for yourself, it might be a part of your identity to default on the promises you make to yourself, neglect your health, etc.

That said, don’t worry so much about changing the way you feel right away and instead, simply focus on doing the things that’ll shift your identity long term.

You must trust the process.

-Cru

P.S. To start the month of November, I'm looking for two people that want to transform their lives. I will personally walk you through the process of pecoming the version of yourself you want to be.

Most people will sit around and wait to for change to happen. Click here if you'll be one of the few that actually make it happen.