The solution to anxiety

Cru’s Letter

In 6th grade, I ran away from school…

It’s hard to even explain the fear that drove me to do that but I was stuck in a mind that couldn’t find internal peace when the external was too uncomfortable.

I knew that I wasn’t in real danger, nobody was gonna hurt me, schoolwork was never actually that difficult, but for some reason I felt as if I couldn’t survive being in this place I hated so much.

When you feel like you don’t have control over your thoughts, life is scary.

For me, it was interesting because I knew myself and had a lot of confidence but as soon as my mom turned into the carpool line at school, every bit of that went away.

There’s this concept of fight or flight that we all know and back then, you would’ve thought I was an airplane lol. I couldn’t conceptualize the fight because it didn’t feel sustainable. Sure I could make it to school and just override my emotions for one day but the thought of the 6 years I had left, gave me no sustainable solution.

You know what I wanted?

Someone to save me.

Long story short, no one ever did. When you deal with the pain of your own weakness for so long and exhaust every attempt to find a magic fix, you finally arrive at your only option…

Do the real work.

The mind is really interesting because it works similarly to the physical body. Just as you can go to the gym to make your body more resilient to load by lifting heavy weights, you can train your mind to become more resilient to overwhelm.

Think of how some people are completely unbothered by simple things. It’s because they’ve been through so much that the little things can’t possibly overwhelm them.

If you struggle with anxiety like I did, I want to give you some things to consider doing that can act as mental exercise for the mind, making you more resilient to what currently takes over your mind.

• Cold exposure like ice bath or cold shower - this trains your brain to be comfortable with the “fight” or in other words being able to stay in the discomfort without running away.

• Meditation - this doesn’t have to be some spiritual, floating above a yoga mat experience but rather a form of close observation of your thoughts in a way where you view them as separate from you instead of being consumed by them. Think of watching your thoughts like a movie reel going by.

So look, if your mind is a scary place for you right now, you’re not alone. I just need you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way.

-Cru

P.S. One of the biggest sources of progress I ever made in overcoming anxious/compulsive thinking is my morning routine.

I posted a youtube video where I walk through the routine itself and explain why I do certain things to start my day. You can check that out here: