Cru’s Letter

It’s a blessing and a curse that it’s so easy to survive today.

I can’t lie. I love that there’s always food in the fridge, the house is whatever temperature I want, and I can order whatever I need to my doorstep within a few days. It’s great because as a modern human, I don’t know if I’m cut out for the constant looming fear of starving to death or getting attacked by an animal.

See the problem, though, is that most people have the fridge full of food, the temperature controlled house, and the amazon prime account but they still feel afraid for their lives.

I’d imagine most folks aren’t afraid of a tiger running through their front door to eat them but not all fear or danger is physical.

The life threatening force of the modern day is the emotional death.

Growing up, I had a reasonably fortunate life. Lots of chaos at home but a home nonetheless whose roof was always there. My family supported me in every way, I played sports, went on vacations, you name it.

So why is it that from a very early age, I struggled with crippling anxiety?

Was life too easy? Maybe.

Thinking back, I never had to physically fight to stay alive but I had to endure the painful suppression of the human spirit through something called school… sounds kind of dramatic doesn’t it?

Dramatic or not, a majority of my time was spent in what felt like a mental and emotional jail that I couldn’t escape.

Now here’s the thing, I was never in true danger but true danger does have one upside… it forces you to be present and that presentness was something I was never able to achieve.

My identity was worry.

When life is easy but emotionally suppressive, your mind is able to spiral to great lengths. I remember thinking days, months, and years ahead in life, constantly forecasting how painful the future would be.

This isn’t natural.

What exactly has life become when you can live more in your mind than in reality?

I don’t think you have to be in constant fear of starving to death to feel present and alive but I do think we all have a responsibility to test the human spirit in some way every day.

People think it’s nuts that I cold plunge every morning at 5am but I think it’s nuts to have a life so easy that you can’t live in the present moment…

So sometimes the remedy to a life of stress and worry is a taste of something real to stress and worry about.

-Cru

P.S. Check out my recent podcast episode: